you thought your balls were fighting each other...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
