Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
