so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
