Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
