my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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