Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
