Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
