Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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