i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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