Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
