jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
