You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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