she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
