I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm getting married
To pizza
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
