so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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