By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I love you. Go after that dick
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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