She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
