Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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