don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
wow bdsm is so cute
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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