Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
