Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize