do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
