It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
