drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
