i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
