Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
