a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize