All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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