Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
