You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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