Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
