my sisters under your porch take her home
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
