Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
