If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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