nut hugger
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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