Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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