Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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