we should wear snuggies to the strip club
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
