Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize