he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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