Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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