For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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