he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
