May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
