So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize