Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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