i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
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why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
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Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We're too hungover to prance.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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