having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She bit a glass in half.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
