i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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