I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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