Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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