He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
