It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
