i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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