that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
