it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize