i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
