my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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