So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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