i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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