I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
