We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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