your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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